Listen to others, understand where they’re coming from, be open to changing your opinion not because of pressure or prominence but because it makes sense to your mind and soul. Acknowledge the pain, honour the differences because they’re there for a reason.
Love with intent, love with joy, love with compassion. Love understanding that we all have same basic needs and face same basic fears.
I no longer told anyone anything
Coz I was made to believe it didn’t matter
Coz no one tried to see my side
Coz they pointed what I may have done wrong
And so I kept quiet and numbed myself
They told me what happened is nothing
They denied my pain
They told me I’m exaggerating
That judgement broke me
Sometimes they would sweet-talk
Trap with honey to pry into my mind
And then spin what they find to discredit me
I don’t want anyone to go through that anymore
I want to be free from that now
So I keep my guard up, reject the lies, and speak my truth
Because their belittling opinion does not erase what happened to me
I can see pretty clearly now
They lie, they twist
They told you lies
So you would be scared
To spread your wings
They directed you to limited paths
Because they were scared
Of the new ones you may discover
They were worried
That your ascent
May mean their demise
But that’s not how the world works
Daisies don’t die because roses bloom
The fear engulfed them
They thought the only road to their safety
Was your oppression
Greed consumed them
They believed the only way to victory
Was your oppression
They reigned over you
Made you feel less than
And made you feel indebted
When they threw crumbs your way
They made you feel ashamed of yourself
They made you doubt every thing you do and say
They told you you are not enough
Made you feel sorry to be here
By the end, you believed
Everything they said
And nothing you felt
But now I know
They lie, they twist
The last week of December is a jittery time for me. I tend to look back at the whole year and try to summarize it in a few words, a coherent sentiment. Most years I come up with an answer quick. This year though I feel convoluted.
A lot of extremely bad things happened, but I also got to learn new things from them that I wouldn’t have realised in the whole past 5 years. I feel sad for myself but at the same time proud for handling it how and as much as I did. I feel fortunate to have helpful resources but I feel heartbroken thinking about those who don’t have access.
I have this unsettling feeling in my heart and I can’t understand why. Maybe I’m afraid next year is going to be scarier. Maybe I’m disheartened by how jaded I’m becoming. Maybe it’s the sting of realizing most of my dreams will be unfulfilled. Maybe it’s the disappointment of not being better.
Because of this year, I am wary about anything that makes high claims about advances because I ponder and fear what trade-off we’re making (think food quality and technology privacy).
I am more at peace too though because I feel more secure. This year strengthened my values and identity.
Somedays I fall for the illusion that life can be easy. The memory of a great day taunts the average ones. I need to remind myself that struggles sometimes have good outcomes, I am strong enough to deal with it, and que sera sera.
Please stop responding to my anxiety with, “stress isn’t good for you, you know.” I know. I do know, because I can’t tell you how much money has been spent on profesional help and medication, or even the physical illnesses that never seem to end, as the distress my body experiences is a result of […]
“Talking about the trauma is not enough: trauma survivors need to take some action that symbolizes triumph over helplessness and despair.
The Holocaust Memorial Yad Vashem in Jerusalem and the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, DC, are good examples of symbols for survivors to mourn the dead and establish the historical and cultural meaning of the traumatic events. Most of all, they serve to remind survivors of the ongoing potential for communality and sharing.
This also applies to other survivors who may have to build less visible memorials and common symbols around which they can gather to mourn and express their shame about their own vulnerability. This may take the form of writing a book, taking political action, helping other victims, or any of the myriad of creative solutions that human beings can find to defy even the most desperate plight.”
Do you ever feel guilty or selfish for acknowledging your trauma or feeling bad for yourself?
When most of your life things suddenly leaped up on you and took you down, how can you continue to walk ahead without constantly looking around in fear of the next attack?
You can try to remind yourself of all the coping techniques you have learnt about. Everything is not all bad, it’s about perspective, you’re stronger than before etc – you know the drill.
But despite all those well-intentioned teachings, deep down you still feel the same. Nothing erases that primal fear that has been deepening within you since an early age.
I finally watched the movie ‘A Quiet Place’ today and was kinda unmoved. The people next to me were hella emotional. Now, am I too numb or are they too anxious?